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Give me Autonomy or Give me Death (only half a joke)

Submitted by belial on Sat, 01/27/2007 - 5:11pm. |

The issue of autonomy has been an interesting topic over the years... and it always comes back to being able to exercise your own autonomy without infringing on someone elses.... but over the years I have come to realize that many (NOT ALL) people in this community really are still children's minds in adult bodies (trust me... I've been wiping many of their noses for years....) and they are not exercising autonomy. In fact, My lover and I were working so hard so others could have the "autonomy" that they were looking for, that I ended up really sick(not just the endo), and he couldn't stop working because there weren't enough people out of the thousands in this community to pick up the slack... and I had to leave the community to get the support that I needed. Come to find out, had I not left... I would have eventually DIED. Do I have to die because others can't take care of themselves? This is a real issue, and should be examined thoroughly.

autonomy:
1. immunity from arbitrary exercise of authority: political independence
2. personal independence

Many people enter this community looking for an easy ride, as there is an imbalance of people doing the work versus people who reap the benefits from it (and the ones working don't have time to enjoy the benefits most of the time).... and I have found that most people who complain about their autonomy being infringed upon are just complaining that someone asked them to practice real autonomy(personal independence)..... being responsible for yourself goes deeper than just saying that you are. Most mutants have forgotten that because they are so caught up in the dogma of autonomy.... but it's not a black and white issue, in fact, it's mostly grey.

Thoughts?

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I missed a good point on this topic

Submitted by belial on Sat, 01/27/2007 - 7:39pm.

This is a wonderful point, and I totally agree with you... ironically enough, this is the point I was arguing with my lover...he needs to be needed, and sometimes won't let others do the things that they need to.... it is a two way street..... and in the end I had to leave him as well in order to do it for myself.  I'm going to post this as a response to my own post, as that is a key point that I was missing.... thank you.

 
Will wrote:
> I think that to achieve true autonomy, not only
> do you have to rely on no one, but you can't
> allow anyone to rely on you. I'm sure you know
> this well already, but people with dependencies
> rarely get over them until their enablers put
> their collective feet down.
>
> You seem to have escaped your situation, but I'd
> advise anyone going through that to set
> boundaries early on in their relationships with
> others. Telling people "Go ahead, you don't
> need me to do that." empowers them. Even
> when you are needed, you have sovereignity over
> whose agendas you pursue, when you pursue them,
> and how much you want to help. Anyone who
> doesn't respect that isn't someone you need to
> be helping. Let them know this, politely of
> course, and I'm sure they'll change their tone
> in a hurry.
>
> I hope you have good luck with whatever you
> choose to do next. I'm not a mutant, whatever
> that is - I found your post from the front page
> - just an autonomous person who wanted to share.
 

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